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(drop a poop)

let GO of my hand, don't want to be apart of the HELL triangle agian [25 Sep 2002|11:42am]
[ mood | was CRUSHED but now better ]

ouCH! ... Thank you for the truth ... However, peace & quiet is nice. Not stating my own words. Thanx ... i care

I have this paper to write for tomorrow that I’m totally stuck on and stressing over. A paper about the legal system. Um, what to write about ... or how? I DON'T KNOW! I don't know how to start it, where I’m going to go with this paper! Hope that help at the writing center will aid me with starting this paper. Having to much in the head isn't helping to much either.*any ways*
luv my BRrainCollapse )

Just have too much on my mind for a long time. I have nobody to talk to freely other than my lj and I can't seem to have the right to even do that anymore. Thinking of private entries. YEEah?! ... The "volt" is getting too full and stuff keep paling no matter how much I try to empty it out.

Oh well, yesterday is gone and today is a different day.

Can't wait for Spartans to start again. Although neither of my rents are not approving for me in doing it this year again for gay reasons. But, I don't care what they have to say about it. It's the only place where I can freely forget all my outside worries. Where I can free my mind and release all the tension by performing. Also, at the same time to see all my great pals. I don't think of anything other than what I’m there to do. Work hard while having fun and in the end going to finals is the key! In fact, the kids in Spartans become like my 2nd family during the summer months, and even more now well after this past season compared to last yr ... "my family" ... I'm not going to let this yr be like the "hell yr" that I experience last yr when I get back from tour. I can't wait to start this mothafucker off! It would be good seeing them again on Nov. 10th ... YaH! I definitely need somebody like Spud [Casandra] and Jabba [Curtis] to hang again.
Oh, and of course my two sistas Shannon and April - much love!
Curtis glad we become "tight" this summer! Glad I got you out of that stupid shell too, lol; although, I know you're not going to read this but still giving you a shout out that shall dude
... Tiela & Becca, I love you too and everybody at Biddeford, MN. Katie dowg can't forget you too
... Scott -&- Morgan [chode] = my posse niccas ... and more ... Ah, Joe Raymond[J.R.]!
... AWw, Derek, Cookie and Booby ... and "Runchie" Ronda you'll be missed.
I will be going to go to a recruiting meeting on Sunday. Maybe I’ll see a couple of old summer faces in which I’m in need for right now. Aww, Leanne or Uncle Richi. But I can't wait 'til the season to starts up again.

*step it up*

IN THE ZONE (right Monte? LoL)

NAS-everybody wants to rule the world
BOXcarRACER-i feel so
NFG-head on collisionCollapse )

being confused sucks!

you lost something? ... wish just to talk again
... where have you been?

(13 POO POOs FOR ME! | drop a poop)

follow a trail of seeds [22 Sep 2002|05:31am]
[ mood | indescribable ]

I just found my way back to Pat's dorm here at UNH.

back tracking ...
Slept over Chris' last night (Friday) 'cuz his 'rents were up at the boat again. My mom is up from CT for the wkend. I felt bad that it seem like I blow her off, but i just didn't know I was supposed to sleepover there. I'm going to try to chill with her tomorrow, and also finish talking about this car loan that I want to get.

Anyways, I went to Kittery, Maine with Chris for some outlet shopping. Call up some Spartans/Maine folks to see they wanted to hang out. Well, the outlets were good I got some stuff too. Probably coming up to get some shoes that I’m in need for. The stopped at Pat's to see his crib in UNH on the way down. I like Pat's new set up in his room. After chilling for a few and begging Chris, which took all but 2min lol, we decided to stay for the night ... and ...... hang out. Oh, I called up Steamboat while we were getting some food and parking the car before we planned to stay over. I was so happy to hear his voice. Finally I had the guts, lol! We talked for like 5 or 10min 'cuz he was tired and I had to go in; however, I forgot to tell him that I got him this Sponge-Bob cub when i was in Maine. Oh well, but it was so cool talking to him. He seems to be bombing but enjoying himself over there. Keep it up dude and can't wait to see you. One advice man ... DUDE BALLS ... step it up and go do it.

I need to poop then I want to go back out, but nobody wants to come with me.
Don’t feel like talking about other stuff, so reporting live from a land of the bob cats far, far away.

*Pizza for a $1 is the bomb diggaty!*

" ...I have NO blah, blah problem calling you blah, blah "
thanx man for whatever

(drop a poop)

make me hit the curve [17 Sep 2002|01:10am]
[ mood | distressed ]


I never had anything to hide so get that light off my head ass monkey!

There are times when I just wish to go back and immobilize things from happening in my life ...
I miss you, wish you could come back. I wish things were cool man, everything.

But, what's the point?


...Nobody gives a fuck!
somebody put a gun to my head and let my brain paint the walls

MiCHELLE BRANCH-i'll always be right thereCollapse )

(3 POO POOs FOR ME! | drop a poop)

growing fainter [16 Sep 2002|09:47pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

as I get older...more and more ppl "die" on me

...everything is dying away

......I got nobody left anymore

" I don't want to feel like this forever...
I hate it so...
I hate feelings

gun anyone?
-i'm out

KEEPSAKE-she hums like a radio
JUST!NT!MBERLAKE-like i love you

(drop a poop)

a raisin in a bowl of milk = me [13 Sep 2002|12:23am]
[ mood | drunk ]

Just got back, actually it was 30mins ago, from helping Chris’ uncle, Mark, move into his new home in Litchfield. Yes, unfortunately I didn’t go to UMass Lowell so I can PARTY with Kendra, but maybe tomorrow night ... wait! I can’t, dam it ... or next wk, YEAH. Glad you called to give me your new cell #, and congrats on your 1st ScrName ever, WooT! WooT!

Well anyways, it was a very fun night. Various things such as making fun of complete strangers to getting cracked on myself (not too fun) to riding in the truck (ghetto machine) with Chris B.'s Uncle Mark and big Chris. Having a "ghetto" and "manly" talk while Chris B., or squeaky (lol), was following us on his lonesome to chilling with the “big [old] boys” after we unloaded everything back out again. Dam, us 3 busted the 24 pack on a 15min drive from Nashua to Litchfield? No sir not me, lol?!?! The house is dope with a lots of land for 4-wheeling surrounding it ... “ a lot of space for partying ... and hunting ”– big Chris, lol ... Squeaky [Chris B.] and I propose for his Uncle Mark, and the wifey of course, to initiate a housing contract for us down at the “Bachelor Pad” too -> $75 each a month! Yo, that would be phat son!

... Oh man, what adults say to you when you are, I mean they’re trashed HAHAHA after you ask them questions or just bring up a topic. One of the random topic was 'Aw, the Joy of getting nudered' ... not me I want my MoJo just the way it is right now. I can’t wait ‘til tomorrow night man! I might have to make some altering with plans in which unfortunately certain ppl might get upset over, but there is always next Friday. :c)

* give me a call on my cell for directions *

I’m going to go eat something now and go to bed early


see I knew you wouldn't call ... awesome

RBF-ban the tube topCollapse )
KEEPSAKE-alcohol dairy, papercuts&broken hearts

(drop a poop)

my opinion [12 Sep 2002|12:38pm]
[ mood | thoughtful ]

I'm in the library here at DWC, and only had one class today from 11am-1220pm. I just probably failed or did badly on my 1st paper for the semesters in EN102, but its all right 'cuz me and my trusty sidekick, LimeyLime, worked very hard on it. Unfortunately, it's not the last paper yet but the 1st...

I’m sitting here talking to this random cool girl that is next to me ... she's cute, lol ... Maybe I'll go sign up for the Paintball Club in a few...

Anyways... 9/11/02, um...?
It's over again, and my impression of this day ... now a yr later ... is that ppl are taking today for granted. That's all I'm going to say. However, each of us has our own different perspective of this day. Thus, is why I'm choosing not to discuss it 'cuz I feel my story is not important anymore ... Everyone knows or some think they know what happened. Why bring it back? It is on every single channel and radio station today it's pathetic. It was just a very crazy, SAD and scary day for me, and I know all of us, in which by the end brought me great joy and happiness. However, one of many joyful events was forgotten yet not me. It as well played a role in what I later decided to do for my future to become, but I didn’t’ think it would turn out the way it did. Yesterday I talked to a number of ppl that help me cheer up a bit ‘cuz I was upset over that fact my reason for coming home wasn't trueful, and for helping me out on this emotional day...THANK YOU!
By me not choosing to write about 9/11 set me aside from those that think that they should just for a "remembrance" and for I think simply attention. Do not idolize this day like that. Why choose to reenact it? Everywhere I went ppl were just talking about it. I went to the only place where all I can hear is quietness. Not talking about it 'cuz it was such a horrific day for me as well as all of us. I thank every single person that I talked to that day during, and probably not as much now after too. I love every single one of you that I knew, even "strangers" that I just meet!
I remember ever single detail of that day even the 1st phone call that went through word for word that day that made me so happy. Cracking a smile on my face on such a serious day like today, and hearing an outside friendly voice to me is an important detail to remember.

...my our HEROs rest in peace!

love thee
i meant itCollapse )

I might go help out Chris' uncle, Mark, with moving to his new crib in litchfield later on today if nobody else calls me to do anything. Probably won't go to UMass Lowell tonight with Kendra too if I go help out ... sorry hun ...

yeah for the scar on my elbow should have sued, right Titi?! lol

(drop a poop)

can't reach that shelf...should i jump or not?!?! [10 Sep 2002|02:26pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

I know what I want...from you...

...I want to know, honestly now, if it's worth me trying still?!

tell me!

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> ~JOKE~ <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

enjoyCollapse )

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> ~JOKE~ <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

THESTART!NGL!NE-best of me

(drop a poop)

get it OFF my chest! ... *i'm collectively gone, lol* ... NAhaarf! [08 Sep 2002|02:33am]
[ mood | recovering lol; MELLOW but SAD ]

This is going to be hard...


Was one of must weirdest days I've had. Julio, Jose, and Aj pick me up Tuesday night. Was given the "ghetto pass" (Julio's ATM card) and with this I was given admission back to the ghetto again with full access of all the attractions. Oh man, I definitely used my pass to the fullest. It was hard to keep up with going to class and back to the attractions but I'm a trooper. I spent 2 days and 3 nights there straight, and I think it was well worth it; however, not so well in many other ways. But it was for fun. Any ways, it helped with forgetting things for the moment...unfortunately I know I should stop that...now


Got a haircut and went home to clean up. Basically got diss. I missed the call (José and Aj) therefore I definitely didn't have a thing to do. Waited Jose to magically call me before 2am; however, I wasn't waiting for that call 'cuz I was dearly sitting for another but I had no choice. I'm was happy though, real good. Samantha and Anna, I love you and you guys are awesome chicks. Well, neither did happen. A waste of a night, but I still manage to even include in assistance for myself to dicked after I was diss. I'm such a tool but I can't help it.

SORRYCollapse )

.....So many voices telling me what should I do, but why am I not listening to any of them. If it supposedly happens to the best of us..... I HATE YOU FOR TH!S SCAR, it's never going to heal right ...

TODAY (Saturday)

Was asked a question by a not so bright person this morning/afternoon. You are so rediculous. Well, I did some picking up and organizing in my living area. Ending up later going out to Max's with Dan, Carter(Justin), and Alethea. Pretty cool kids. Went to Dan's house after and chilled. While Alethea was getting hit on my Dan, Carter talked about his raging battle with breast cancer. " have you ever had rocks in your nipples or chest? ... Mom? I have breast cancer. " ~ PAHaHaHaHa! I got dropped off after then I suddenly got picked up to go to UMass again with Kendra. Got dropped off back home ... it was fun time spent...
*on a different note*
I seem to sympathize to those that don't care not even one bit anymore about me. Then they seem try to show interest to make them selves feel good or something important. Although, I’m not acknowledged by most I try to give others in need my full attention but still get the door slammed on my nose ... what have EVER HAPPENED to us?! ... Why do I help others when I can't even help myself?

" ...all this hatred against me, FUCK all of them... "- Nas

-FUCK YOU! to the world that is

6 mofuckin yrs
10yrs in Nashua
it seems like a waste time & effort at times

(6 POO POOs FOR ME! | drop a poop)

akward roller coaster; see time will come(not) [04 Sep 2002|02:53am]
[ mood | flirty ]

I thought my day was going to suck major ass after I got home from my morning 11am-1220pm class. Figured I would work on a paper that is due Thursday but found that I’m stock, and got annoyed at certain ppl for being too dope-fly-chill. All I wanted to do is go out for lunch and have fun for a bit. Glad I talked to Whitney & Kristen, they cheered me up. Unfortunately I spent all afternoon staring at this gay paper and worrying about other stuff. I went to my 6pm class, yet later to find that it’s being postponed to next wk, which kicked ass

Here is where it starts flipping...

So, wanted to call ppl but I was told they had other plans before, so I went to Julio’s house. Then Kendra calls me to hangout really bad. BUT she is at UMass ...... We meet at CVS 30 minutes later, went to my house dropped off my car, and departed to UMass. Awesome place, but didn’t like the whole elevator thing. Kendra has a cute roommate that is a Yankee’s fan (a plus). Crashed a little get together. We chilled and talked about stuff and ::cough cough:: other things at her dorm. Had to step out for Chinese food (dunno why that food) ‘cuz I was getting way to hot in theRRe. Played some more 411 trading game in the car then suddenly I receive a call back, like my night couldn’t get any sketchier. Only two words Samantha & Anna! ...... Finally, we found food back at Nashua in PanAsia actually near DairyQueen (hoe’s lol). Kendra and I engaged into the weirdest conversations again. This was weirder than our normal talks ... "Oh, I'm chilling with my girlfriend"(me) and " doing it " ... wild ... this was a wacky night out. Wish things would have happen, but I knew it would have felt awkward.


definately an awkward yet fun night. It's late need to go to bed!

Birthmark Penis ~vs~ 3rd nipple gaint

1st day? DAMN!

**METHODMAN&REDMAN-lets do it**

(drop a poop)

::::searching:::: there is where i belong [03 Sep 2002|03:55pm]
[ mood | sad ]

finally heard your voice. Don't even know how to describe the joy I felt when I heard you your voice, yet

... you're recovering? oh no! :(

say you're good ... but you sound like you're in much pain and so you're damn far away ...
i'm AFRA!D
was told not to do this things for you, but i must 'cuz what if i never see you again.

-283.3 miles away

(drop a poop)

Ronald Race [03 Sep 2002|01:05am]
[ mood | uncomfortable ]

Spivak's party was fun on Thursday. Saw many familiar and friendly faces, and got to know new ones even better. I was glad that I got to hangout with ppl before they left for college. I was proud that I manage to forget what was bothering me...like Spivak and other individuals said, " get off the phone " ...and enjoy myself. Stayed up 'til 6am and had class at 10am ::cough cough:: yeah class ... so, visited Sgro (same day, Friday) for a bit. Also got invited to eat dinner with the McCarthy's in honor of Kim's departure to Hartford, awkward. I'm actually going to miss her and was glad that I saw her before she left too, but unfortunately I had to leave as well. Was glad, not really at 1st, that got a call on the way to Rise&Roll (where we ate) to hangout otherwise after dinner I would have been sitting somewhere wondering what to do ‘cuz what I had intended fell through like a brick in water...AWESOME!
which brings me to
TH!S WKEND... um, lets see ... was very eventful! I was gone all wkend except for 30mins to get a change of clothes on Saturday night/Sunday morning to go back out. That's all I'm going to say right now...


(1 POO POO FOR ME! | drop a poop)

price to pay for glory [29 Aug 2002|02:56am]
[ mood | still a bit annoyed ]

So, I'm there

... but not there ...

... and I'm not a "friend" to hang out with ...

... not consider as the friend also ...

hey, I have other things to worry about right now, and tomorrow (Thur) is here. Only have one class tomorrow wicked excited about that. Then I have the rest of the day off and probably going to Spivak tonight with my jimmies gonna be fun.

props goes to Andrew, keep up the good work dude! Glad to hear good stuff now that you're away.

Well, I’m going to for a ride or gonna take a trip to the gazebo.

Good night

Questions are never thumb. There’s never a stupid question just the dumb person that is asking it.

(1 POO POO FOR ME! | drop a poop)

i'm made of glass or just invisible [28 Aug 2002|08:25pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

feeling vibes, negative vibes, totally suck B!G monkey damn balls


totally awesome ... acknowledge me NOT!

well, 1st day of classes at DWC went pretty good. Also managed to get an extra public lecture by my Macroeconomic professor about facusing better already. I knew it was to me though you damn Sand-Pirate. I also had to pee in a cup today (oohooh shame, shame) for my physical

...I'm at Kendra's right now venting off...

changing the channel; in fact, turning it all OFF!

...so many things are bothering, but only 2 is poping out most dearly

SAVEFERR!S-i'm not crying for you (for Kendra, lol)

(drop a poop)

XxX [27 Aug 2002|03:12pm]
[ mood | crappy ]

... whatever ...

my bad, forgot it's my fault man. I'll go back to doing my own thing again.

*GOOD kinda NOTE*
Talked to my dad just a couple of minutes ago. Even though it was short I was happy to hear his voice again, but still worried for him! I knew he'll STEP !T UP, if not ... I dunno what i would have done.

(drop a poop)

continuing [27 Aug 2002|12:03pm]
[ mood | discontent ]

! GoodBYE Brian Whelan !
keep real man

Alot of old folks told me that I should have hang out with them this summer or been around. Been getting a lot of "we need to chill more often" lately too. Man I'm game for that! Sorry I was gone on a trips and was given the M!GHTY B!G SHAFT when I was not away or around.

Yeah for bringing things up that I don’t wish to listen. Bitch them out but why need to listen or hear of them, and 1st of all through me? Is like I’m not important to be around unless my loyalty is not about myself, talk to for mercy, or for my needed company ... basically wanted when they don't nobody else.

... i need to talk with somebody

whatever it's a new day and it just started. Not going to let things bring it down already.

it's 120pm need to shower

(1 POO POO FOR ME! | drop a poop)

"how are you doing? .... Eh, my life is shit" [27 Aug 2002|04:29am]
[ mood | depressed ]

My mother and sister came up for the wkend to see me before I start school again at DWC and now that I'm done with drum corp for the summer. Seeing them made me feel happy about things for once. However, Mom wanted me to hang out with her all wkend yet I wasn't feeling that at all, but I did. I made her stay an extra day for making me go through the torture, haha j/k. Saw TripleX with my sister. It was alright and I enjoyed the flick, but kinda over rated. Couldn't control my sister from jumping up and down though 'cuz of Van Deisel.

Today I finally finished all my last minute school errands, and everything is good ... I guess. I got my schedule, but now I need to get BOOKS. Now I can start looking for a job also. On a later note, today I thought a little about my future and career, I've been doing that a lot lately; however, I'm ready to start again on Wednesday. My mom slap me some sense when I brought my thought to her which helped ... for now.

... I've wanted somebody to talk openly with, not holding anything back, exchange thoughts again with for a long time. So much in my head, i wish somebody was here for me this one time right now ...

... I like how "tweetybirds" giving ppl strange info about me, like how this bird is all a big secret too! I'm not going to do anything just want to know who spread the word man ...

... I sensed that I'm being looked upon as the Dirtiest Scum on Earth now 'cuz of current info sharing. I didn't care, yet now I'm being looked down upon by the only person in the world that I didn't want to. This is gonna be great start =( ...

... I want somebody to talk with. I NEED TO TALK WITH SOMEBODY!!!

damn, look at the time (530am)I need to go hit the sack now.

finish later

(drop a poop)

my Sunday in ClockTowers [25 Aug 2002|12:53pm]
[ mood | disappointed ]

just too FAbULOUS...

thanx a lot

THE START!NG L!NE-almost there, going nowhere
JUL!ANA THEORY-this is your life
DMX-fame; the professional
F!NCH-new beginnings; where were you

(drop a poop)

baby RUTH candy bar ... ¿FUCK HER? [19 Aug 2002|01:02am]
[ mood | peaceful ]

Just an brief sample of my interest conversation with my buddy Anne tonight. We've been having nice talks lately. This is one of many to come...

Sticboi (12:49:05 AM): fucking 3x i got shafted today
Sticboi (12:49:13 AM): and by the same person
Sticboi (12:49:23 AM): lol, who does that?!
Drmrbabe02 (12:50:07 AM): i dunno man. lol i use that phrase a lot
Drmrbabe02 (12:50:15 AM): thats shitty
Sticboi (12:50:37 AM): lol, that was this yrs catch phrase on tour
Drmrbabe02 (12:51:54 AM): friends don't shaft friends. i don't know what to tell you abram except that i think its really rad of you to try and stay friends w/this kid but if he's not showin interest or whatever you could either try and talk to him about it or just keep gettin screwed i guess (thats sounds bad but you know what i mean)
Sticboi (12:52:24 AM): word
Sticboi (12:52:28 AM): i hear you

Any ways, this goes out my boy Andrew:

you're gonna kick some ass
and better get some fine honeys @ syracuse so when i visit!
i'll miss ya pal. !KEEP IN TOUCH!
Luv YA

... I would have been around more if ppl actually cared to give me holla when I wasn't away on a trip. I really wish I hung out this summer with ppl I used to before. I wish I had this "great summer" that I wanted to have. Nothing really was too great for me just a few good times with random cool ppl. Maybe leaving for and arriving from tour would have been better for me to take if i did. Summer is almost over man. Lets see if I can reach out a grab back what I once had and see what the rest of the yr has enstored for me. Yeah, hopefully the prediction of how my summer would end won't happen afterall!!! >>crossing fingers<< Don't care how but I'm going to try to end my summer with a BaNG! STEPPiNG iT UP, couple days left for school.

Oh, I posted a couple of entries that I had private from before I left for tour go READ.

Going to see Andrew over at John's now. Gonna say bye one more time, once again!
and THANX again Anne


MiCHELLE BRANCH-goodbye to you

(4 POO POOs FOR ME! | drop a poop)

¿...who does that...? [11 Aug 2002|04:44pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]

Aye kids!
I'm back from touring with the Spartans Drum and Bugle Corp, but I’m in Maine. Yes Maine the home of the crazy lamas! Got into Nashua like around 2am last night (Sunday morning). Madison, WI was fabulous (Scott favorite word). We placed 5th overall in the world in finals with a 94 something as our score. Which isn't too bad considering the competition we had this yr. ::cough cough:: SCV & Orlando Magic. But, we all got to bring home another little pretty gold medal for making it into finals. For those who care to see and awe over can, lol. I didn't really get as home sick as last yr 'cuz I had my cell-lu-lar phone with me to call ppl this time. I thank those that were willing to talk to me at like 12 or 1 am on my bus ride days 'cuz it was only time I had to free to talk. Also, thanks to those that returned my calls too when I was in need the most I really appreciate it a bunch. My bill is gonna be pretty high this month.

click for brief quick summaryCollapse )

... OMG I had like 5 phantom poops (you have to be there to know) in a role, but I lost to this girl named Christina in Penn. LOL ...

I didn't get to think much about my problems and worries like friends/school/family/etc 'cuz I was too busy worrying about our competition and getting to know ppl. I'm kinda glad that I didn't think about "stuff" at all. However, now I'm back but not really home.

... Right now I’m in Biddeford, ME visiting my Maine pals from drum corp for a few days. I came up with Becca, Teila, and Kevin this afternoon in Becca's cab part of truck. It was kinda a comfy ride laying down, too hot though. I never seem to stay in once place huh Mrs. G? :c) I'll be back home in Nashua on Wednesday. I think? I don't know about Warped Tour on Thursday anymore, 'cuz I just dunno! Well, I’m not going to worry about it. But, I’m excited to go to Canada this wkend though. WooHOO! ...

I g2g shower 'cuz I smell, and try to wake up Jabba , Curtis (cyk).

Becca is squirting me with water, AH! I need to find something to do now in ME.


~call me on my phone (603) 557-4140 if you want to get a hold of me~

still scared of going back to Nashua, NH?

(drop a poop)

[25 Jul 2002|01:46am]
if you're interested and free you can stop by btwn 9-10pm and watch our run through before we leave for tour

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